Dave and I have spent many long hours discussing our Faith.  We are Catholic, born and raised (though imperfectly like most).  As married adults we have come to discover our Catholic heritage as if it has been a well-kept secret and we have a desire to share with others what treasures have unfolded before us.  Dave said, “write a blog”.  I said, “Yeah, right.  I’ve tried blogging.  It was not a success.”  But he was right, a blog is a great way to share with others and not make people feel forced to endure what we have to say.  But what blog name?  I’ve been keeping this in the back of my mind.  Something Latin?  Nah…  Something with a saint name?  Nah…  Something about our journey?  Nah…  Then we had a priest friend over for dinner last night and in talking about how we raise our children, he jokingly called us “Tunnel Diggers”.  We roared with laughter!!!  He said, “You should blog and call it Catholic Tunnel Diggers”.  I looked at him and said, “Yes, I think we will.”  So here it is.  The blog name.

Who are we?  We are normal.  Well, we were normal.  Today’s idea of normal is not the same as the normal we grew up with.   We were born in the same small town.  We were raised on the same highway only 4 miles apart.  My husband was born to young parents, newly married with a sister 2 years older than himself.  Sadly, his daddy died when he was 3 years old.  He was named after his dad and he bears his handsome good looks, this I’m sure has been a comfort to his mother who lost her husband to cancer much too soon.  I was born the youngest of four children to parents married for 20 years.  My siblings were 9, 14 and 16 when I was born, Mom had begged Daddy for one more baby before it was too late.

Dave and I each had loving parents, clean homes, and occasional vacations growing up.  Both of us were raised with construction as our family businesses.  We did not have the spoils other kids had, though we were happy and experienced life to the fullest.  Our parents gave us the very best they were able to give to us.  We love and appreciate our parents very deeply!  Dave’s mother married again when he was a young boy and his stepfather became a good father to him.

When Dave and I were little, we met at church.  In second grade we celebrated First Holy Communion together.  Isn’t that the cutest thing?  But we didn’t fall in love just yet.

Dave went to a country school, I went to school in town, he likes to call me a “City kid”.  We went to the same high school, but he wasn’t on my radar as he was about twenty pounds lighter than me and kind of scrawny.  He says he always thought we would date but my phone never rang, soooo……

Shortly after high school graduation, we ran into each other at an Aerosmith concert.  My best friend wanted to set us up, “You two are perfect for each other!”  She said.  I was hesitant as I didn’t approve of his friends and their extracurricular activities.  My friend always talked about Dave and I.  When I lived in Chicago three years later, she and I ran into Dave at a bar and again I heard her recommendation.  But nothing ever came of it.

Both Dave and I, unbeknownst to each other, were waiting for the perfect person to enter our lives and be worthy of our love.  I wish I had known this because being the only one in my group of friends without a husband or boyfriend began to weigh on me.

From the time I was 20, I entered into one relationship after another (4) that I live to regret.  I was engaged at 21, to a guy unworthy of me but I thought I was out of options.   At this time, I worked at the local bank and I used to wait on Dave, he made me squirm.   Dave was not a little guy anymore.  He was manly!  He was gorgeous and absolutely the nicest man EVER!  He made my armpits sweat in my silk blouses.  haha   I realized if another man made me feel this way, I better call off the wedding.  I didn’t believe in divorce!  Smartest and hardest decision!  Because I wasn’t an aggressive woman, I didn’t seek Dave out after my broken engagement.  I wish I had!

I had a written list of expectations for the man I would marry and around age 23 I lowered these standards on a whim.  The guy was a drug addict, I was furiously against drugs and alcohol abuse.  Strangely, one night Dave ran into this guy and the guy told Dave he “had to go home and kick the *&^% out of Kalah”.  Dave was shocked!  He never thought I would date a guy like this.  A few months later, I clawed my way out.

One Sunday, entering the church for Mass an old Pakistani lady asked if I were married yet, “Oh, Mrs. Brass, I have such bad luck with men.”  She grabbed my arm and urged me, “Say, St. Anne bring me a man.”  I argued that I could never speak to a saint that way, she assured me it was fine.  I went to a Catholic bookstore the next day and easily found a prayer card for courtship to St. Anne.  I prayed it faithfully!  I was also fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays.

Shortly before this Dave had been out with his best friend.  After a night of drinking, they flipped the car on their way home, neither of them was wearing a seat belt.   Dave felt a hand holding him in his seat and he felt the presence of his grandmother who had died a few years earlier.  She was a pious Catholic woman whom he loved very much.  Dave’s friend got a broken nose and several cuts as his body flailed around in the car.  Shortly after the accident, Dave went to his grandmother’s grave.  He prayed for her intercession.  He asked that God send him a good woman.  He asked God what He wanted of Dave, even considering the priesthood although he wasn’t a practicing Catholic at this point.

I was just getting stronger after my abusive relationship ended, when some married friends of mine took me out one night.  As we walked into our local bar.  The first person I saw was Dave, everything else grew quiet in my mind and all I could see was Dave looking right at me.  “What a shame” I thought “He’s such a good-looking guy and so sweet”.  I didn’t approve of something I knew about Dave and now for sure I wasn’t getting mixed up in trouble.  I turned my face, without the usual smile, and walked the other way.  I felt Dave come towards me so I found the nearest person I could latch onto.  Dave, who is normally shy, stood at my side and said, “Hi, Kalah”.  I coolly turned my head, “Oh.  Hi Dave.  How are you?”  In my head I had three questions I was dying to ask before going further but not brave enough yet.  He smiled, “I’m great.  I’ve made some changes in my life this last month.  I bought a house and I’m taking over my grandpa’s business.”  WOW!!!  All of my questions, answered!  How did that happen?

Dave and I spent the rest of the night talking and having a great time.  I drove him home, because his ride ditched.  As I pulled into his driveway, I put the car in reverse.  Dave thanked me and got out.  I went home to wait for his call that week.  It’s a small town, there were phonebooks and I totally expected him to find my number.  But when he didn’t call, I began to second guess myself.  I asked my older brother on Thursday night, what I had done wrong.  He said, “Well, as your brother, putting the car in reverse was the right thing to do.  As a GUY, putting the car in reverse was the wrong thing to do.”  I was determined to see Dave again.

Friday night I asked another friend out in hopes of seeing Dave, I did.  He was just as sweet as the previous week.  Right away, I heard him ask his roommate what he thought of me, he gave Dave a nod of approval.  That night, when my friend wanted to leave, Dave said he would drive me home.  When he pulled into my driveway, I extended my hand.  I was so nervous.  I wanted to kiss him, but it wasn’t right.  He shook my hand.  He told me to call him when I got home Sunday night from a church retreat.  YES!  He wanted to hear from me again.

This is how we began.  We have been very good for one another.  From the very beginning everyone around us knew we were right together.  On our second date, to a mutual friend’s wedding, everyone was asking why we weren’t married yet.  I thank God for Dave!  I have one regret – not staying the course as Dave did with regards to chastity.  But Dave has never made me feel I had anything to apologize for.  He is a patient and forgiving man.

This blog is about us and how God has led us to Him in a most remarkable way.  Remarkable not because of famous people or extraordinary events but simple, common ways.  God is supremely powerful and just.  He is almighty and wonderful.   In God’s mercy, He constantly seeks our love, even though we are most undeserving.  We are His creatures, on bended knee.  Digging tunnels to Heaven…